Many people (at least two or three) have asked me, "Who is this Ralph Spoilsport?" Ralph is a real person. In fact, he's more than one person! Ralph Spoilsport is Everywhere! Anywhere marketing people, ad execs, hucksters, jivers, sham artists are, there is Ralph!

Actually, Ralph Spoilsport was conceived by Mr. Phil Proctor of The Firesign Theatre (pictured above, right) in the late sixties as a character on their second album, "How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere At All?", otherwise known as the "All Hail Marx/Lennon" album (see cover below). Anyone who has ever heard that album would remember the "fabulous new car, fully equipped with factory air conditioning from our fully factory air conditioned factory".

A parody on real-life Southern California car huckster Ralph Williams, Mr. Spoilsport's spirit is alive and well in towns and burgs across this vast land of ours. Here in Kansas City, we had Colonel Billy and Boots Williams Ford and today Hap Hazard and his wife, Miz Hap, who purvey fine automobiles over the airwaves in the corniest manner possible.

I have appropriated Ralph's right-hand man, the Head Mechanic, as my alter-ego and your guide to the wacky world of The Firesign Theatre. Should you be interested, you can follow the links below for more stuff. Thanks for asking and remember Ralph sez, "Do it today, because there may not be a tomorrow!"

FIRESIGN THEATRE OFFICIAL WEBSITE: www.firesigntheatre.com

PLANET PROCTOR: www.planetproctor.com

Finally, A Real Choice in 2004!